FTA: Some thoughts on family, football, and having a little faith. Plus a whole buncha killer new tracks.

Note: I’m resharing a post from this same weekend last year. It has only been mildly updated. In a world that’s gone sideways, celebrating life events has become much more essential. I also will take any chance I get to talk up John Hiatt and Ducks football, so there’s that. FWIW, I wound up finishing the book I mention below not too long after this first ran. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it.
The Ducks and Badgers don’t play each other this year, but maybe next year? We can talk all day about the perils of college football, but in my case, it’s serving as an excellent pretext for family reunions, and my life is all the richer for it. Oh, and I still have no idea where my suit is.
KA—
Today, twenty-two four years ago, we had a party, and not a lot went according to plan.
For one, we ran out of food. I’m told it was delicious.
Attendance was capped at 150, split three ways between my mom, my in-laws, and us. With us in Oregon and most of my in-laws in Wisconsin, I assumed many people would not make the trip. Never underestimate Badgers’ desire to travel.
For my part, I have the sort of family where if you invite one, you must ask another 8. The ones you skip will drive 4 hours and crash it anyway (see my comment about the food). Never underestimate my family’s affinity for a gathering.
We told people to prepare for any kind of weather. It was in the 80s. I sweat in March. You can imagine how this went. I’m fairly certain that was the last time I wore a suit. Last I knew, a kid in the neighborhood borrowed it for a science presentation at school.
Maybe he still has it?
Like most weddings, there are plenty of lovely, very professional pictures that document that day. They are nice, with everyone perfectly posed, beaming, and in just the right pairings: the parents, the moms, the wedding party—you know the drill. If nothing else, it’s evidence that I can clean up nicely. Outside of the 2-3 that we had printed, they’ve maybe seen the light of day a handful of times in the last two decades.
The candid shots taken throughout the event are much more interesting to me. None of these were taken on a phone or posted to Instagram. They found their way back to us via US mail, or more commonly after someone had printed them and shared them the next time we got together. Even with a candid shot, there’s an intentionality you don’t get with a phone. Each picture tells you as much as it leaves out. I wish someone had taken a picture of the food.
A quote in this article has stuck with me for several days now:
For me, at least, my Polaroid project this summer was really about memory and time, tangibility and loss. The act of reaching for something that you know, even in that moment of capturing it, is already out of your grasp. Like our memories, too, because what we choose to frame tells us so much about the things that we hold onto – as well as the things that we let go.
(Yes, another week of talking about Polaroid pictures, physical media, and how we used to use them to document the mile markers of our lives.)
The shots from that day are dispatches from the road, full of people still in our lives and those who aren’t, of people held onto and people let go. Some of those friendships didn’t survive the attrition of distance, and some have shuffled off this mortal coil.
One of my groomsmen lives 10 miles away. With two kids each and busy careers, we’ve seen each other once, and that was at a soccer tournament. Somewhere, there’s a picture of that, too—both of us a little older, both in cargo shorts; I guess we’re both suburban dads now. It was in the 80s that day, too.
I was probably sweating. We’re both beaming.
One worked with me and left for another airline. He’s younger than me and somehow managed to retire. Lucky him.
My best man has been in my life for almost all of it. He and I still talk a few times a week via text, usually sending each other mildly offensive memes that the 12-year-olds in us would delight in. I haven’t seen him in five years. I’m grateful technology keeps us close. Lucky me.
I hadn’t seen my cousins on one side in 10 years and wouldn’t see them for another dozen or so (at one of their weddings, of course). I’ll see them again in 56 days. It will have been one day shy of 6 years. I’m grateful the Oregon Ducks moved to the Big 10.
For our reception, we crowdsourced the music, adding a line on the RSVPs to request a song. In hindsight, this was a good idea, and I wish I had thought of it. In retrospect, we also should’ve known that picking the date we did would sentence us to a lifetime of receiving memes like this. On the plus side, it makes it easy to remember.
Van Morrison’s “Moondance” was the most popular request. I don’t know what to say about that. John Hiatt’s “Have a Little Faith in Me” was our spotlight dance. He’s very much still in my life. I listen to his records often and just started a biography by the same name. That we could dance at all was remarkable; my wife’s knee had been demolished a few months earlier while playing soccer. She scored on that play, by the way. That injury was definitely not according to plan, but the dance was an incredible win.
Of course, there were up-tempo songs too–it was a party, after all–and people rarely miss the chance to tell me how great it was to see my stepdad and father-in-law “fast dancing” at different points. They’re both gone, and I’d like to think that they’d laugh at that being their legacy. It’s a helluva snapshot if you think about it.
Whether at a courthouse, a church, or on the beach, a wedding is aspirational. The couple has a lifetime ahead of them, an early chapter in what hopefully will be a long story of life events and milestones, and regular Tuesday nights watching TV.
Depending on when you see this, we may be celebrating at brunch, record shopping (I hope!), riding bikes, or at a concert by going to work and then hopefully somewhere cool for an early dinner. It’s fast livin’ for sure.
Twenty-two four years ago, not much went according to plan, but everything went right. Surrounded by friends, family, and lord knows who else, underneath a warm sun and next to the gorgeous Oregon coast, my (now) wife and I decided to have a little faith and said yes.

As always, thanks for being here.
KA—

On to the music…
Were I not solidly middle aged, I’d just type something like “Hard Life by The Tubs? OBSESSED” and call it good. The reality is that I’ve been playing it pretty much nonstop, and every time I do, a new favorite track emerges. Kalshi’s probably got the odds of this being on my AOTY list easily at 75-80%.
Speaking of Badgers, there’s also a couple of WI bands on here with Milwaukee’s Fellow Travelers and Madison’s Parting Blue (aka the band formerly known as Depression Glass). The latter have a new record out, and it’s got a great heartland indie sound going. RIYL: The Jayhawks, Spooner, or Son Volt.
We’ve also got killer sounds from Outer World, Phosphene, Devecia Mack, Gift, The Tisburys, and more!
The Playlists: | Apple | Qobuz | YouTube Music | Tidal (NEW) |
Now it’s your turn.
What’s been exciting you lately? Any releases or shows you’re looking forward to? Whatcha got? Share your thoughts in the comments!






